Here's my top 5:
- You are only lying to yourself if you think you can wear your pre-pregnancy clothes but with slight modifications. Whether you tried the Belly Band or the hair-tie trick, I thought these handy pregnancy tools would keep me from falling into the trap of buying the ugly maternity clothes that every future mother eventually purchases. I had strangely convinced myself that I could wear my Hudson jeans and all of those cute tops from Anthropologie or JCrew throughout my pregnancy with a tweak here and an adjustment there. Was I WRONG! Then I moved to the stage of just buying regular clothes but in bigger sizes...well, sizes only get so big when you're pregnant. In the end, I caved...and I bought a few things from Motherhood Maternity, Moms the Word and Sierra Lane Maternity. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I don't want to still look (and feel!) good! And for all the non-believers, I'm still wearing my Hanky Pankys.
- Your body is not yours. For a while, when I first found out I was pregnant I relished in the fact that you couldn't really tell I was pregnant until about Christmas time when my belly started to get round. But then all of sudden, I couldn't see my feet, or reach them for that matter, kissed bikini waxes good-bye and my boobs started changing shape. So-long to those round breasts that men use to stare at when I wore low cut shirts and hello to the new torpedo-like breast that appeared. Not only that, I now had a baby bump for those torpedoes to rest on.
- Nope, my water didn't break - I just peed on myself. Everyone has heard stories about women who lose control of their bladder when pregnant, or when they laugh or sneeze a little pee sneaks out. Well I never expected to be one of those. The other day I had a sneezing fit and for a minute, I thought I was going into early labor. WRONG! I had just peed on myself. My friend Jen thought she went into labor once when she thought her water broke only to find out...she had peed on herself. I laughed so hard when she told me the story I thought I was going to pee in my pants...well now, I officially have!
- Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean people are going to be nice to you. Many of the books I've read have said that pregnant women should not handle cat litter and because we do have a cat, this means Roger was going to have to take over as the kitty litter cleaner. However, when we run out of litter, I'm still the one that goes to the store to buy it. About three weeks ago, I went to the pet store to get more littler. We have one of those refillable buckets and so when I got there I asked for a little help. Being 8.5 months pregnant you're also not suppose to lift anything remotely heavy. Our bin filled is about 30 pounds. So I asked for help. And mind you, this is the pet store we've been going to for the eight years that we've owned our cat. Well I was told, "We are too busy to help you with that and if you want litter, you're going to have to get it yourself." FINE! So I did. Then I asked for help out to the car - which they usually ask but this time I was met with, "I told you earlier, we are too busy. If you can't lift the litter yourself then maybe you should buy a lighter quantity."
- There is nothing sexy about pregnancy sex. So there are no warnings about having sex when pregnant, in fact, my doctor encourages it...but there should be!!! For the first two trimesters it was still reasonably easy to get things heated up in the bedroom but by the end of the second trimester, when your belly is starting to protrude, it aint so easy anymore. And by your third, there is nothing hot and heavy about the awkward basketball (or in my case, watermelon) that drives a wedge between romance and your significant other. Too much weight on his part makes you feel like your belly is going to squish out your eye balls. Alternative positions are difficult because you can't lay on your stomach. You're not as flexible so you have to get creative but creative isn't always sexy, it's creativity to "scratch the itch." Plain and simple, there is nothing sexy about bouncing torpedoes over a bouncing basketball...BUT, you find a way and everyone is happy.
